Random rants: Fix a heart

Hey again

It's probably what's best for you
I only want the best for you
And if I'm not the best then you're stuck
I tried to sever ties and I ended up with wounds to bind
Like you're pouring salt in my cuts

And I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart

Demi lovato

"People will notice the change in your attitude towards them but wont notice their behaviour that made you change"

Anonymous

To be honest, I never thought I'd struggle a lot emotionally. Since my teens i've kinda taught myself to just think about myself and don't immerse my thoughts and efforts too much in other people's problem, cause i cant handle it and it is obviously better to just mind my own business to save myself from unnecessary heart aches. But damn, life happens. Even as good as i was at minding my own business, i cared, i cared a lot, because i loved. And that love made me set expectations. I believed that i had to be a certain way, do things in a certain manner to be accepted, to be loved because that was what i saw. i thought i had grasp things and knew exactly what i was doing, i believed i was good enough, i believed i tried hard enough. Little did i know, everything and everyone in this world is different and we can never ever expect what turns life would take you to. Even if i thought i did my best. And right now my life has me standing at the edge of cliff. The thing is, i still believe i did my best, MY BEST, which just happens to be not the best for other people. And not getting that validation hurts deeply, cause i worked my ass of to do my very best but its not seen, not appreciated. At times like this, the only thing you can do to ease the pain, is to go back to Allah. Although nobody sees effort, He see, He knows. Take comfort in that and keep trying your very best. I will always keep doing my best, because what others say and think of me is not valuable at all. Allah is the only judge and i will keep striving to be a better muslim a better servant always. I'm always loved, always take care of in ways i never know of by the one and only god. Alhamdulillah.

SOOOO, the rambles and the quotes & lyrics really don't go well together and im not even trying to relate it or even mention it in my rants, but heck. it is what it is. this is how raw emotions are ya knoww.