shook

 i discovered something in the past few days, and i thought it was funny initially, but i realized i am actually quite bothered by it. It's a really complex emotion. 

I feel confused, i am kinda disappointed and i am also sad, but mostly i am actually hella shook. what i feel isn't really directly related to me kind of emotion but a more to, like what happened here ? how did things change this drastically.

Talking about change, i shouldn't actually be that shocked, cause what my life has presented with me so far is much much more dramatic than this tiny thing for sure. But i think i'm way too numb, i can easily discredit everything like it's nothing.

you know that type of person that shares with you the most sad depressing thing you've heard, but they talk about it as if its just another daily discomfort, i am that person. i have honestly reached that point.

But i'm so glad i have very good friends that can see through my stupid facade and actually help me face my devils, help me understand them, help me get through it. Honestly, my friends are the reason why i'm still standing strong today. and of course Allah is always watching over me, through this big hearted friends.

eh ha random rant already, was talking about something else then suddenly jumped into a whole new lane. haha.