Random Rants: Life ahead

I'm almost 23.
Truth be told it's scary
I feel like i should know everything
I should know what to do
I should have lived on my own by now
I should not be relying on my parents anymore
I should make money
I should have something to give to my parents

But

At the some time
I'm thinking, I'm just 23
I'm not 25. or even 30
I don't really have responsibilities yet
Should i really think of all the big people stuff

Huh, funny how I can think I'm all grown up
And at the same time think I'm still young and innocent
Yes, 23 does these things to you
Even what to wear is a struggle,
When I'm all chilled out,
Thinking of wearing sneakers, jeans and a  baggy T with characters on em
Then i think again, is this still appropriate for me ?
Or should i be wearing, blouse with skirts and look all mature
Yes again, 23 does these things to you

Such a confusing age it is,
Still studying, yet almost finished
It's the in between periods that scares me the most
In between study and work
Cause I think that what I do during those between periods will decide my path
Yes yes yes, 23 does these things to you

Ahh the future
Frankly speaking, it suffocates me
Because it's an unknown that won't be known until we finally face it
Thinking of the future
It only builds questions,and curiosity
Of course on top of all that
There's fear

Not only the fear of what's to come
Or what will be of myself
But a fear that I won't even exist in the future

Then guilty seeps in
Who am I to think of the future life of  mine
When even a life is no guarantee for me then

Focus
That is what needs to be changed
Think of now
Think of this moment
Is it nice ?
Am I doing the right thing ?
Or is it bad ?
Am I doing something wrong ?

Fix it
Fix it now

Cause time is not ours to delay
Time is not ours to dream
Only this moment is ours to make the best of it.