Random rants: A pause

If time was in my control

I'd pause and stay stuck in this moment

What may come ahead scares me

While my doubt continuously taunts me

And I feel my strength leaving me

So i would choose to pause

To banish all my fears

To clear away all my doubts

And to invigorate my strength.

My fears come from deep within

the fear of doing anything 

fear of confronting

fear of bursting

and most ghastly of it all

is the fear of the ripples, waves and possibly a tsunami

as a sequel of my doings.

My uncertainty is like a cloud of smoke

surrounding me

sometimes a light mist

sometimes a dark gloomy fog

And my strength...
I guess it's there
slowly but surely building
it has to be
cause I need it to be




_early august thoughts