Alhamdulillah

 Hi there

Another week has passed and we have successfully made it through. It's not easy, well it will never be easy honestly, but still, we made it.

If i want to complain and be all negative, i have so many things i can say about the world, about life, about the country, about the pandemic, but it won't get me anywhere, in fact it will just bring me down too. So, to remain positive and strong through all this craziness around us, around me, i want to be thankful. Being thankful doesn't mean that there's nor problem in the world or in my life. It just means that i'm not giving the time and energy to ponder, lament and dwell in those negativities, i rather spend my time and energy focused on things that i know are good for me and will take me places.

So, what am i thankful for ?

1. Despite all that is happening right now in malaysia, which is actually a lot, i feel extremely privileged that i am amongst those that Allah has blessed with a roof upon my head, warm meal, comfortable bed, sufficient funds, surrounded by good people and most importantly health of myself and my family. That in itself is such an amazing amazing privilege that not everyone has especially nowadays. So, Alhamdulillah. And to those that are tested in these things, i truly believe that Allah chose you as you are very strong and able to overcome it. Allah knows your strengths very very well.

2. I am extremely grateful that although i am a student still pursuing my studies, i am at a comfortable place when it comes to money, that i can sufficiently survive on my own. Being a student with sufficient funds is just an extremely big blessing to me because i am working for myself, to achieve what i want for myself and my future (which inshaAllah i plan to serve the community) and on top of that i have enough money to live day by day. Alhamdulillah truly, alhamdulillah. But with this privilege i constantly need to remind myself to help and support the right cause with whatever that i can, no matter how small the value.

3. I am also truly grateful for still having a healthy mind inshaAllah. I think being emotionally and mentally stable during this pandemic in a country like malaysia is also considered a privilege. Although everyday is a struggle to redirect my mind on the positive things that i have, and positive things Allah has blessed upon us, It's slowly getting better and better. Of course there are highs and lows, but i guess still having a healthy mind is a good sign already

4. These days i'm thankful for even the smallest things, i wake up to a sunny day, i feel blessed, i'm not late for subuh, i feel blessed, i am able to see the wonderous views of sunsets and sunrise, i feel blessed, I have perfectly working limbs to get by everyday, i feel blessed, i can reach friends and family just a call away, i feel blessed, i finally finished alkhafi before Friday ends, i feel blessed (but seriously tho, alkahfi is looooongggg), i get to smell beautiful scents of my candles, freshly mowed grass, a rainy day, I feel so blessed. Alhamdulillah, there are so many little things to appreciate.

I feel like all this while my mind has been stuck in an unhealthy loop. I know all these positive things, i enjoy them sometimes, but not as much as i am forcing myself to nowadays. See the keyword there, i consciously force my mind to think of positive things.

Every time i catch my mind wondering or focusing on something negative, i quickly redirect it. It's funny tho, because all this while i was never conscious of my thoughts or tried to control it, i just let it do whatever it wants to do without realizing that i am actually more on the negative side of thoughts.

So i watched videos and read articles and listened to podcast and realized that, changing your thoughts, your mindset, the way you look at things, well it takes work and effort. I initially thought it took one big experience to like open your eyes and change your view. But actually NO, it take consistent effort, consciousness and awareness to catch ourselves thinking of negative thoughts and actively redirecting our minds to something positive.

Let me tell you, it's not easy, recently i even started saying out loud things like alhamdulillah i am breathing, alhamdulillah i can fold my clothes, i am happy i am happy i am happy. I force it in my head and drill it there. Or sometimes i turn on a feel good podcast, enjoy it and laugh along. Every time i feel negative thoughts coming in, i quickly find something positive to do, something nice to watch, or just do something that forces your mind to shutdown for a bit, like a workout, reading books, or watching videos. Whatever floats your boat honey, you do you.

But what i can tell you is, it takes effort. Active effort. It's not something that naturally comes to you unless you were raised with that kind of mindset already. So yeah, from being grateful i ended giving a pep talk how i am training myself to be more positive.

The mind, the body, needs fuel, needs training. So what we would do for our body, we need to do for our mind too. And you know what, our soul too (spirituality) needs fuel and training. Nothing just happens when it's supposed to happen, well it can too actually. But why wait ? Why not now ? Are you really sure you have tomorrow? So just do it, just start, just force those good things on you, you wont be losing anything at all but will be gaining all the goodness you can imagine.

To future shakirah, this is for you, in case you lose you way.