Hakuna Matata

I'm feeling like a little itch at the edge of my heart I know what i want I know what i have to do But i cant help but feel slightly annoyed that people will be bothered by my decision Its ironic to me, because my life never mattered to anyone, ever But when it comes to big things suddenly my life will matter to everyone And everyone will have an opinion to give Am i the bad person for hating the situation to come ? It feels fake Like why yall want to start jumping in to my life when I've been doing fine up till now? I am just not the type of person to accept opinions or help or whatever from people i don't believe care about me genuinely. And believe me i have the hardest time to trust, that someone really cares about me I just want everyone to live their own life, like they always had, and continue to act like I'm a distant person that's just living her life too. Is that too much to ask ? just leave me be, like always, like usually. I feel better that way,  I cant

 it's been one heck of a year for everyone. The world has faced so much together and we ourselves have faced so much personally hence the result is a hella crazy year. So so so much as been going on in my life its seriously crazy, unbearable and sometimes happy too. What a weird year it is. I've received good news, bad news, went through shit and found rainbows. But the shit that happened this year is like the stinkiest shit ever. like ever. no joke. But the rainbows were equally beautiful and pretty too. i honestly am confused about how i feel. One thing's for sure, I'm grateful. The bad things, made me feel sad, brought me down but in the end it brought me peace. While the rainbow, was pretty to the eye, yet comes with pressure to do my best. and the combination of these feelings and events kinda gave birth to a new me. Point is, 2020 is super weird. the biggest problem now is i have no idea how to move forward. Like what do i have to do to push things into a better d