Hakuna Matata

 ya Allah am i really that strong ? i see you've given me tests after tests after test. can i really make it out of all of these test and be okay ? am i really that able ? i feel like i breakdown way too much is this okay ? am i really doing well ? Do you think i'm handling these tests well ? i feel so weak, i smile to everyone and cry everytime i turn am i faking it or is this just the way to handle all of this ? honestly i have no idea.  i've been on autopilot mode since longer than i can remember please guide me and give me strength. please lead me into the right direction, towards the right decision, closer and closer to peace and love. i plead to you Allah. help me.

currently unable to walk, and rely on people a lot and mentally i'm not that frustrated with myself, like it's just a phase and i'm okay. my problem is, i keep getting worried that i might bother other people. there was something i googled earlier in the day and now that i think about it i'm sad. i googled ' how to be a good sick person' and guess what, there were no answers,  google only gave me how to be good TO a sick person.  why am i built full of guilt ?