Hakuna Matata

Because i just finished self isolation and now still can't go to the lab due to EMCO here and now lockdown, i have a lot of time in my hands. i have been at home for more than 2 weeks. It's really getting at me.  So what do i do with all this time. For most of it i'm trying to be productive and get things done while i can, so when i enter the lab, i can focus on my labwork. But at other times, i've been reflecting and researching so many different psychological concepts and theories and now all i want is therapy. HAHA I just want to be a good person. But that's not easy at all. I think in our society, we either believe we are worthless or too worthy.  To get the perfect balance and really know where we stand, to really understand ourselves and know when to step back and reflect or when to stand up and defend ourselves, I think this is extremely difficult. That line is becoming more and more ambiguous and blurred for me. When is it actually okay to be firm, and when

The title is perfect but i clearly know I'm not perfect. I have so many flaws here and there but i want to be better, kinder, stronger. However, I can't succeed at being great everyday.  Sometimes I'm weak, sometimes i fail and right now I'm just weak. I can't put the blame on other people all the time and not reflect on my weaknesses and my flaws. Cause I'm human and i am weak so i must reflect on my own mistakes and weaknesses.  As much as i am strong and patient, sometimes I'm weak and impatient, sometimes i get hurt and fall down and sometimes i drown and just let go. A little push maybe all it takes for my facade to break and fall into the depths of despair.  But when it breaks and falls... i guess i don't know what to do, with my head, my heart, my mind, my body. I just don't know.